And that was my epiphany. I sort of kind of took offense to that remark! In fact, I haven't been trying for years to become published. I've been working for years trying to create something publishable. I will admit to querying agents for that first novel not once but twice; once when I first finished, again after it was rewritten years later.
Until Beyond the Gate, finished last year, I had not written anything publishable. I'm not saying I can't write, or couldn't write--I'm saying it wasn't enough. And even with BTG, whether or not it's worthy both plotwise and writingwise becomes moot. It's too long. For now. And thus it isn't publishable.
Now there's Finder. Only time will tell if I've written something publishable. I don't doubt my abilities to put a story together, but is it THE story? The one that's going to nudge ahead of others to find a home in this insane world of publishing? I just don't know. This time, I won't have word count to fall back on!
The long and the short of it is, I've not been sending out and sending out and getting rejected these past 13 years. There have been a few rejections when I did forge ahead into that part of the writing world, but I've never seen the sense in resubmitting work that just isn't there yet. Either I'm going to rework it, or set it aside and try again to work out the bugs that infected it with a new project. I think we labor under the misconception that if we send out a piece of work long enough, it'll find a home. I'm sure it's true in some cases. In most, it's handing someone a paddle and bending over for them. (Let me remind you--I'm talking novels here, not shorts.) If it's flawed, it's flawed. Fix it, or hand over the paddle.
The conversation moved along after that, but I've been thinking about this for two days now. I'm straddling the threshold--again. Now let's see if I step through this time.